Most of my friends know that I'm not the most kid-friendly person on the planet. I have friends who love kids, have kids, speak their strange language, find their antics amusing, have their maternal instinct pre-wired and ready to go, but not me. I don't know what do with them besides stare at them as though they are about to explode, ask them how their day is going, and point to the bathroom when they tell me they have to go potty.
Today I found these shots and shared them with the Zen Master....
ZM: Oh wow.
Me: My ovaries are shriveling like raisins.
ZM: No doubt.
ZM: There's this marvelous invention, maybe you've heard of it, it's called "child-proof cabinets."
Me: They have ways.
ZM: Little bastards.
Comments
Ms. Jen says:
Tuesday 11, 2006Come on, we both know that if you had kids you would send them to "Russian Charm School" just like you did with Scruffy...
And look how well that worked...
;o)
occulator says:
Tuesday 11, 2006My mom used to keep arts & crafts supplies in her office. Among those supplies was an economy-sized bottle of Elmer's glue. Mommy & Daddy were still asleep and couldn't help me with my artistic pursuit. Mommy had a nice suede chair in her office. A lake of spilt glue is pretty difficult to clean up I found out.
And then there was the time I decided our neighbor's white gate would look better brown, which is hard to undo once the mud has dried.
Oh yeah, and launching toy cars off a ramp that leads, as it turns out, to a second-story window, is not conducive to keeping windows in tact.
Never have kids.
Wanda says:
Monday 17, 2006While David and I were buying a "princess" gift for his 3-year-old neice tonight at Target, we overheard the following conversation in the Barbie aisle:
MOM: Shut up. We're not buying any of that crap.
KID:
MOM: You really want something to cry about?
David turned to me and said: "Do you know what this means?"
"Yes," I replied. "We're never having kids."
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