The Adnostic

When I started back at the barn where I grew up riding, one question came up far more fequently than any of the others.....

"So, are you done with school yet?"

"Um, I'm 28. I have a Master's degree."

"Oh."

It's funny how the people who watched me grow up, never truly see me as an adult and it's more than just a little annoying. I talked to my dad about it and he gave me this little pearl of wisdom, "In order to see you as an adult, they would have to admit that they've gotten older." Oh. That is why you can't go home again.

After another brief hiatus I'm back at the same barn and thankfully almost all of them have stopped asking me when I am going to graduate. All except for one, but she only does it in jest.

"So, have you graduated yet?"

"I'm almost thirty."

[pause for visible mental adjustment]

"Have your kids graduated yet?"

[sigh]

A while back I went in for my annual physical only to find out that I had gained three pounds and that my cholesterol was at 210. "Diet and exercise," said my doctor. "Diet and exercise, and get another blood test in a month."

Crap. I'm not the twenty-something that could eat whatever she wanted (within reason), ride a horse once a week, and stay fit and healthy. This is the sign, people - I am about to turn thirty.

The problem is that I am the terrible combination of being a decadent eater (which is only exacerbated by my relationship with another foodie) and a physical activity hater. I have only enjoyed one sport my entire life and that is horseback riding, which is both too expensive and time prohibitive to dedicate more than once a week to for the time being. This knowledge led me to the conclusion that I would have to do one of two things:

A) Start jogging (self torture)

B) Join a gym (self torture with other masochists) (I'm not about to call people with the same gym membership as myself "friends" or even "fellows")

Joining a gym costs money that could be better spent on plane tickets to Vancouver and lacey undergarments. The cost of entry for running is a quick $80 at Target for athletic wear and $50 on a new pair cross-trainer shoes (in case I ever change my mind about the gym). So jogging it is.

Now my only problem is pushing myself out the door often enough to make a difference. I can be an excellent slacker with little help or motivation, but I am trying to counteract the natural pull of latency. I went for my first run on Sunday and another round of DIY punishment today. Go me.

Normally I would have just said "screw it" and let my sneakers collect dust in the closet, but this time I've found it easier to hit the pavement. I think it's because I have good reasons to be in better shape. Part of it is to get more out of riding. I would like to be able to have a riding lesson without feeling weak and winded half way through a course of fences. Part of it is my health. I have never had a cholesterol level above 200 before and I am too young to have an active concern about heart disease. But, I think the biggest reason is the Zen Master. I would like to be able to go roller blading and hiking with him and be able to keep up and not have him slow down on my account. I want to be healthy and stay in shape for him. He deserves to keep the trim and fit girl he met in Austin, and hopefully never have just "more to love."

It’s hard to just submit to gravity with reasons like that.

The Zen Master is off having marvelous European adventures without me. Jealous? Me? Just a little. Yes, I wish I was there with him as he speaks to a packed house about the glories of CSS and the mysteries of typography that doesn't come with your MS Word program as my eyes slowly glaze over to the consistency of mud, but Corporate America said "No." This means, my lucky lucky readers, that I have more time for blogging.

While he enjoys the accolades of an adoring public, I get to renew my conversation with the world.

While he delves into the wonders of an open bar, I have the opportunity to openly navel gaze adnauseum.

While he tours the glorious streets of London and Paris, I get to post about my most current, frustrating, and head-banging-against-the-wall, arguments with Gary. (Admit it, you love Gary.)

Who's jealous now? Yeah, that's what I thought and don't you forget it!

A lot of Mentos and a lot of 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke can replicate the amazing synchronized fountains at the Belagio Hotel in Vegas.

Watch and fall in love with the internet all over again - Diet Coke and Mentos Experiments

EepyBrid rocks my world!

How is it possible to covet something that does not even exist? Because it should exist dammit. I want my camera, pda, phone, mp3 and video player all on one gorgeous device that will sync seamlessly with my computer.

Observe and experience desire - The iTalk.

Hey Apple! Get crackin'!

For all of you waiting with baited breath about my hair versus computer dilemma, I went with hair. My precious MacBook from work has become my primary computing tool as of late (the built in iSight is a godsend) and I haven't had much need for my little white bundle of joy.

Yes, I have almost completely lost track of my finances, but I'll catch up in due time. Meanwhile, I look damn good. Even the Zen Master came on the side of my hair, making him the only man in the world for me. His view was that I should always feel confident and look my best and everything else could be taken care of later. He even snuck Skype onto my silver book of burning hot quickness, which further elevated his sexiness in my eyes.

Jewish mothers may be pressuring their daughters to date doctors and lawyers, but that's so ten years ago. Girls, take my advice and date a geek. Your mother will understand eventually.