The Adnostic

Last week I was participating in my favorite new timesuck when both The Zen Master and I heard an ominous clicking sound emanating from my computer. ZM immediately instructed me to reboot my computer and see if it went away. It didn't, and the next day, when I tried to restart it after a day's rest, it betrayed me with the gray screen of death.

Oh good God. Not the Gray Screen of DEATH.

Have I backed anything up? Um, well, no. But when I thought about it, I really didn't need to back anything up. Sure, it would suck to loose all my pictures and music and I wouldn't enjoy rebuilding all of my personal databases, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. Besides, I have my new MacBook Pro as a back up (thank you faceless corporate entity).

So if you're wondering (Jen), why I didn't write you an email to wish you a happy birthday. That's why. I have all of my friends and family's birthdays carefully entered into my iCal and now that I don't have access to that computer I'm not nearly as thoughtful as I used to be. My personal calendar of social activities is also inaccessible. So if I miss a date with one of my friends, that's also why.

Anyways, I was finally able to get to the Genius Bar today. Where the Geniuses were able to reboot my computer and give two options:

A) Send my computer off to Apple HQ and get the hard drive replaced as is, with no upgrade, to the tune of $280.

B) Take my computer to a local independent repair shop, have them recover my data and upgrade me to a larger hard drive for about the same amount of money.

Sweet. I'll take option B, Bob.

Unfortunately, because of my schedule and the repair shop's hours of business, I won't be able to get the work done on my computer for another two weeks. But that's okay. At least I have my new toy. I'll just miss talking to The Zen Master Skype to Skype (it's not on the approved list of applications).

Okay, I've been a little absent lately. I know. I'm sorry, blog. I'm very, very sorry.

Oh yeah, your birthday. I totally missed it. April 19th, 2005 was the day I published my first Adnostic post and April 19th, 2006 just flew right by me. Again, I'm sorry. I suck. I'll make it up to you? Somehow? Maybe?

You're probably wondering why I haven't been around much lately. Well, I guess I should put all my cards on the table. We're all about honesty, right? Promise you won't be mad? Swear? Um.... well...... you see.... I've been having an affair with a Canadian and discovered that VOIP is the best timesuck ever!

Now don't be like that. It's not like I haven't been thinking about you. I've been visiting every day - clicking on links, browsing old content. I just haven't been writing much.

Hey! It's not like I haven't been suffering too. You want to loose your comedic edge? Fall in love. Ask Patton Oswalt. You go from being sharp and cynical to a pile of mush who can't stop spewing about puppies and rainbows. My friends keep telling me how much I'm glowing. I can't think of any mean things to say for my movie reviews. I am even boring my therapist! He said I'd be back in top form soon enough, but that I'm really soft right now. I was ready to throttle that old man. (sigh)

At least I still have Samurai Kittens.

I'll be back. Soon. I promise. I've been thinking about new posts and I'll be making an effort to write more while The Zen Master is globetrotting. (When he's back all bets are off. Consider this my apology in advance.)

When it comes to web geeks, there is no one hotter than Dave Shea. Dave is the creator of CSS Zen Garden, a virtual gallery for designers and artists who know good code intended to promote the benefits of using Cascading Style Sheets. For me, I just think it's pretty; and neat. I think it's neat too.

Dave is the co-author of The Zen of CSS Design and considered to be a premier authority on the convergence of web technology and design aesthetic and has spoken at a multitude of international seminars and conferences over the past few years.

Mr. Shea is also been blessed with extremely good looks. Observe:

The dark hair. The noble, aquiline features. The strong, heroic chin. Those deep set, dazzling blue eyes. The stylish, yet masculine choice of couture. And don't get me started on his voice. I could listen to that man talk about code until my ears bled.

Bottom line - This is one very hot brain.

I'm also not the only one who thinks so. Furthermore, Dave is currently the lead nominee for a possible calendar of geeky babes to benefit CalWAC. It's hard to argue with evidence like that.

A little while back I was feeling hard pressed for blog material, so I decided to pull a Kathy Sierra and share a bit of expertise concerning something I wasn't particularly passionate about, but I knew was useful and not necessarily common knowledge. I wrote about leather care.

This post generated two comments which ultimately confused me. One from Australia used the contraction (at least I assume it was a contraction) of "relo." Another used two acronyms (once again, not sure about that), "ijwo" and "bwec." My readers were commenting in tongues and I was thoroughly frightened. I mean for Christ sake, it's just leather care!

I sent the comments to The Zen Master, who is both fluent in L33T and obscure technical acronyms, hoping that he could shed some light on this phenomenon. He emailed me back with the search results for "leather, oil, and dominatrix" and the advice that I enjoy the traffic. Apparently Google ranks my blog second for the combination of those terms. Ooops.

Who says sex doesn't sell?!

I'm helping to clear the table after dinner with my parents and my mom is coughing sickly.

Me: How are you doing Mom?

Mom: I'm dying.

Me: Oh?

Mom: I'm old and I'm dying. No one should live past sixty.

[Today is her 63rd birthday. No, this isn't an April Fools joke.]

Me: Okay, I'll take you behind the shed and shoot you between the eyes.

Mom: Oh, surprise me. But let me clean up the garage first.