Dr: Wow, on paper you're quite a catch! You're smart. You're funny. You're attractive. You can be casual, but you can also be comfortable dressing up for a formal event. You come from a nice family. You're athletic. You drink. You dance. You're into all kinds of different things.
Me: What about off paper? Am I completely worthless off paper?
Dr: No. You're just confusing.
Me: Great.
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