The Adnostic

Jodi got a new job and took some extra time off in between.

Jodi: I can't believe I have to work a full week!

Me: It could be worse.

Jodi: I could be you?

(I would have called her a bitch if she hadn't taken the words right out of my mouth.)

Gary has been taking me out to lunch while I'm "enjoying" unemployment.

Gary: Jamie is dating an actress who seems pretty nice. Not one of those Hollywood types.

Me: You mean I'm the only one not in a serious relationship?

Gary: You're saying that like it's a bad thing.

I also told Gary about my decision to start going to therapy.

Gary: Why don't you just watch sports?

Me: What?

Gary: It's true. I was depressed after a fight with my girlfriend, so I cracked open a beer, turned on ESPN, and felt a lot better because no matter what's going on in the world, there's always sports.

(This is the part of the conversation I don't bother responding to. He says something absurd and all I can do is shake my head and change the subject. It is a pattern which is always the same but never truly repeats itself.)