The Adnostic

I am lying face-up on the floor after having sawed off the lower branches of my friend's Christmas tree, screwing it back into the base, constantly having to remind myself "lefty loosey, righty tighty" every time I switch to a different screw, and feeling decidedly Jewish.

"Leave it to the Jew to set up a Christmas tree," I kvetched. "What is it with you goyem and the trees? Why can't you just get a menorah and light some candles like normal people?!"

Last night Jodi decided to celebrate her birthday by inviting a few friends over, having dinner, and trimming the tree. She said that doing it by herself is depressing and she wanted to keep her birthday small this year, so what could be better than a tree trimming party. I can understand this line of thinking. It seems like most holidays are pretty meaningless without friends and family, which is probably why I don't celebrate any of the Jewish holidays unless my parents are involved.

We drank our fair share of wine and champagne, the tree only toppled over once (I hope I was able to fix that), and I only broke one ornament. Okay, so it was one of the good ornaments, but at least it was only one. The damage could have been so much worse. Pretty good for a bunch of drunks and a token Jew (who was also on the tipsy side).

Once again, jazz-hands. Happy birthday Jodi!