The Adnostic

Last night my therapist gave me my first homework assignment. I am to make an effort to be more expressive about my feelings among friends and family. Apparently I suck at expressing my emotions. He didn't say those words exactly, but he did say that I was "really bad" at it. I guess all those years of DIY emotional suppression were a little too effective.

I don't want to go back to the oversensitive sniveling crybaby I was in my youth, but I think he's right; I do need to work on this.

He also suggested that I try antidepressants. Considering my family history and the fact that I can't stop crying every time I enter his office he thinks it's something I should definitely consider. But wait, I thought I was supposed to get more in touch with my emotions? Now I should chemically alter how I think and feel when I already have a piss poor sense of that. I'm not sure this makes complete sense.

Do I suffer from depression? Probably. Does it adversely affect my daily life? Not really. I don't think I am nearly as extreme as other members of my family, but that does not make me immune. Do I think the anxiety related to my depression puts a short fuse on most of my romantic relationships? Yes, but I also think my inability to express myself emotionally has a lot to do with that as well.

Verdict - Hold off on the pills for now, do a little more therapy, start on my "homework," and see how I feel in a few months.