The Adnostic

I got a call from my roommate, Jen, this morning; which in itself is strange. Jen will text me or e-mail me way before she will call me, because she despises using the phone. She considers it a device of unwanted intrusion on her personal time.

Anyways, the conversation starts off with the following question:

"Lauren, did you notice the dead bird on the floor this morning?"

Needless to say, I did not.

Now, I don't stay in the habit of looking down while I'm busy doing things around the house. I didn't notice the Scruffy poo in my closet a couple months back until I stepped in it, and I'm naturally clumsy which is probably a product of the fact that I don't pay much attention to where I put my feet. But a DEAD BIRD!!! How did I not notice a dead bird?

Jen's theory is this - She likes to keep the back screen door open while Scruffy is here so he can do his business as he pleases. She thinks a bird flew in and hid itself away in my closet (animals seem to like my closet for whatever reason), eventually landed in my extra towels, and died. When I changed out my towels this morning it fell out on the way and I just didn't see it.

I don't know about you, but this seems a little too convoluted to me. Here's my theory - Jen and I are about to experience some serious haunting. Everyone knows that a good horror movie always starts with something small, unexplainable, and extraordinarily creepy and THIS qualifies.

Next thing you know we're going to start waking up with cuts and bruises directly relatable to that nightmare we just had and seeing disgruntled hockey fans hanging around our bedroom windows. I should have known the lack of an NHL season would put us all in grave danger. Everyone was talking about the economics while they should have been discussing the inevitable rise in serial murders! What were we thinking?!!

And, if you take into account that the virgin always stays alive for the sequel while the slut gets whacked, then I'm a dead woman.