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Tales of Hollywood, 2

June 21, 2005

When Hollywood said he wanted o to see me again, I figured he meant at least a few days from then. Silly me. He called the next day and asked if I was doing anything that night. I found this behavior strange and unwarranted, but who am I to judge?

I called him when I got to his place.
Hollywood: You're on time.
Me: I am the on time machine.
Hollywood: I'm standing here naked. I've never dated a girl who was on time.

He met me outside in his bathrobe and apologized for the mess, saying that he was going to clean up before I arrived, but I was on time. I looked around at all the junk, the scrap paper laden counter tops, and the Christmas decorations hanging in the living room, and thought to myself, "There is no way this place could be tidied up in a matter of minutes. This guy is just a slob."

I watched a little Deadwood while he dressed and spied a VERY THICK book on his coffee table. The Guide to Getting It On. Can I fault him for learning? I think not.

Hollywood: Do these shoes look too metro with this outfit?
Me: You look fine.
Hollywood: Are you sure?
Me: Really. You look great. Can we go now?
[Crap. I'm the guy. I have already been given the male role and that's just not right.]

I may pride myself on being a low maintenance woman, but that doesn't mean I want to wear the pants in the relationship. I like men who are masculine and confident. Men who don't seek me to validate their egos, who don't pay more attention to their wardrobes than I do, who are well groomed but stop short of a manicure and highlights, who can scuff their hair, put on a crisp shirt and a sharp pair of shoes and be ready to go, and who don't make me late for everything.
I hate being late for anything. It stresses me out.

We're finally about to leave the apartment -
Hollywood: Are you sure I don't look to gay?
Me: No, you don't look too gay.
[pause]
Me: You look just gay enough.
Hollywood: [laughing] That's funny.
[Actually, I was kind of serious.]

We ended up going for Thai food and a movie. I realize this is very cliché, but I swear we made up for it. We ended up seeing Jet Li play a retard and kick serious ass in Unleashed. I love martial arts action flicks. You better not be judging me.

Again he wanted me to come inside and again I told him he needs to dump his girlfriend. Is it so hard to date one girl at a time?

Hollywood: Do you want to see me again?
Me: Yes. Now get out of the car.

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